My first-hand experience with alien life forms (see "Truth about aliens" part 1) seems to have sensitized my awareness for alien presence on this, our planet.  Among my discoveries is the fact that not all evidence of alien visitation may be found in remote areas. I recently documented strange dirt markings in a park located well within a huge city.

                             the circle                                                                                             the line and the circle
The artifact is a strange dirt circle which is near a peculiar dirt line. The diameter of this circle seems to be remarkably twice its
radius. Also, mysteriously, multiplying this diameter by the number pi yields a value amazingly close to the circumference of the
artifact. It's a tremendous surprise that alien intelligence could so approximate terrestrial geometrical laws. The mysterious line,
furthermore, can easily be interpreted as the circle being straightened out. Another remarkable parallel to earth geometry!
The center of the circle was found to contain some wooden objects of unknown function. It is unlikely that these are merely sticks that were washed there by rain, as some people have guessed. They are not the expert in these matters that I am.

                        wooden objects within the circle                                                   unlikely event of someone exercising here
Seen from above, the two artifacts can be interpreted as the number "10", while looked at from the other direction, it can be interpreted as "01". This is an astounding representation of our decimal counting system. A highly unlikely explanation of events, again by non-ufologists, is that these are merely paths worn through the grass by someone doing something prosaic-like martial arts training. Preposterous!  There is certain proof that these are evidence of alien visitation that these untrained people seem to have ignored or forgotten.
That evidence is:
Untold thousands have seen a huge, glowing, spherical object in the sky from that very area at regular periods!  This object has been observed rising into the sky from a point roughly to the east of the artifacts' location. From there it passes overhead (this flight path varies somewhat depending on what time of year the object is observed.), to head in a westerly direction, where it passes out of sight.

                 object is generally first seen this way                                     ... and then passes off in this direction
The object is not visible every day, but it is observed fairly regularly. In fact, interviews with people who frequent this area brought to light a nickname for this object, which sounds like "suhn".  A few people called it "The suhn, yewjerk.", or something sounding like that. When I inquired about the speed of the object, I was surprised once again. This "suhn" would traverse its path in something like the simply amazing time of around 8 to 12 hours!!! No jet aircraft on this planet could fly at that speed! Indeed, most jet aircraft attempting to fly at that speed would plummet to the ground. The few jet aircraft that might be able to attain that speed could never remain airborn for that length of time without refueling. Mystery upon mystery! One further sinister note. Some of the local inhabitants got quite agitated when I continued questioning them about this "suhn", and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave them alone. I can only imagine that there is some kind of coverup being eased into place by the authorities.
Then, as if things could not have been strange enough, two small beings appeared at this site! These beings were roughly humanoid in shape, but of small stature, with heads slightly large in proportion to their bodies. They spoke in a language distinctly alien, although I could pick out some English-sounding words. They seemed friendly enough, though the smaller one showed obvious signs of being unfamiliar with walking in Earth gravity. Click here for some film footage of the smaller alien moving.(flv video 19kb, no sound) The original film was much clearer, but there seems to be a rule against any clear, or unmistakable cinematic evidence of alien encounters, and who am I to break such rules?

                                 two small beings appear at the site. Coincidence, or a visit from elsewhere?
 The smaller one also seemed to demonstrate an extremely unusual diet, judging from the variety of objects it tried to put into its mouth.  Doug, the photographer who took most of these pictures, identified these aliens as "kihds", whatever those are.  People with little or no training in these matters can be so amusing sometimes!  So, I concluded my investigation of this site, coming away with the satisfaction of knowing that I'd added more to the vast body of information pertaining to the great UFO mystery. Oh, one final note. I myself was able to catch a glimpse of the glowing sphere, and snapped this as it was behind a tree.

                                                the object over head! it seems to light the sky!
Pretty astounding material!

Disclaimer:  This page is intended as a joke, and as an illustration of poor reasoning techniques. I suppose it could also be seen as a spoof of certain interest groups and certain programming shown on certain TV channels. By the time you are reading this, I would sincerely hope that you realize that although certain of the observations I list on this page ARE true, they are in no way indicative of any proof or belief in UFOs or extraterrestrial encounters. Also, these are actual, normal human children (not alien beings of any kind). In fact, they are Doug's kids. Doug K. took all of the photos on this page, except the last one. I took that one. I was almost unsuccessful, since the day was fairly cloudy at times, and the sun (or "suhn") almost wasn't visible.  Do not attempt to find this park, in the hope that you will find alien artifacts. Do not go to ANY park, and start abducting peoples' children on the mistaken belief that they are aliens. Those of you who are rational will find these statements unnecessary or redundant, but this is the internet. As I've said before, "On the internet, no one can hear you say 'duh'". I am not responsible for any addlepate, dufus, goombah, nitwit, dumbell, or idiot who takes any of what I've written above this disclaimer at face value.
This page was written and produced January 22, 2001.